How To Decide

Since I started sharing our Journey so many doors have opened.  I have received emails and recommendations that have been so valuable.  We are so over joyed with how many wonderful people we have in our life.

With that being said.... MY HEAD IS SWIMMING!

We have received amazing leads on how to adopt domestically.  We were even recommended to an amazing consultant that would guide us the rest of the way.

We still can't decide what direction to pursue??? I am about to share our hearts so please don't judge us.  I am just going to be real and honest.  These are the thoughts we are struggling with. Most are very worldly so please know we are praying and trust that God will work on our heart through this.

Foster/Adoption
Pros

• Affordable
• Easier process to receive the child
• Great ministry opportunity and such a need.  
• The child will be able to see a Jesus like love because of what they are brought out of.
• We would have an option for a 3 or 4 year old so Tyler can have a sibling close in age
• Tyler will learn a lot about the sinful world we live in and how to serve and love when it is hard.
• Benefits from the state like college tuition.

Cons

• Most of the children come from very troubled homes.  Sexual abuse, drugs, and physical abuse.
• Will have to deal with the courts and biological family and their baggage.
• Could be hard on Tyler depending on the emotions the child brings to our family.
• Could be hard on Tyler if the child is taken out of our family.

Private Adoption

Pros

• It would be like having a baby (without the pregnancy of course)
• Safe/Healthy- We will know the parents and their history and will have more of a choice
• We will get to raise the child from the very beginning. (The baggage won't be as hard on the child)
• There is a great opportunity for ministry through an open adoption type relationship with the parents or birth mom.

Cons

• Expensive - We will have to take out a loan, fund raise, and trust the Lord in providing
• Longer process and more involved
• I (Melissa) am not good with babies.  I (Melissa) am a major worrier and don't calm down until they are about a year old.  ( this weighs heavy on me)
• If we happen to get pregnant in the next 2 years I will be raising two babies!
• Tyler will not have a sibling close in age because he is already almost 6

I am sure there are more but this is our heads right now. We are still researching and praying a ton and again are so thankful for all the people that have reached out.  XOXO  Hopefully we can decide soon so we can get this toot home.